"Bear left on Calle Canifuckalottay"

"You don't turn your airdrop off?! You're the type of people that have sex without condoms!"

"I'm teaching you how to be American"

"How to you know if they're good, do you test them?"

"No I don't test hem! I ask myself...
Are they an idiot?
Did they lie?
Can they work?"

"So cute! U look so drunk!" "I know! My eyes are sluts"

"there's a penis on the table"

"don't talk to me that way. But pull my hair."

By the way you're not a side dish you're supplement.

"I've been rolling my eyes since before you were born. That shit is not going to change"

" I feel like I can SEE you telling me this and in your visiony you are swaying. At best. "

"You're cursing up a storm today. I see the cursing clouds on the horizon." "Yeah, if I had Tourette's I'd be Rain Man."

About a man with a flask: "He's a keeper." "He's the keeper of my vodka"

He needs to take sado masochism 101!

They're called a "band" but I doubt they play any instruments. They probably don't even know how to read.

Keep your legs and your options open ;)

"

We went from Hotel Rawanda to Hotel for Dogs.

"I have a boyfriend I'm not an idiot." "That's the problem you have a boyfriend so you're an idiot"

"Eve's on Glee tonight! I'm like, shawty what your name is, gurl!"

Nothing makes me more sentimental than siblings singing an inside song together