"I'm done with white guys. They're overrated. And they don't appreciate my butt."

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"He dropped a 275 lb barbell on his throat. It took 6 hours of surgery to repair. He is doing better. He is on twitter."

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"its not bar conversation. I'm killing my own buzz."

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"I had sex for the first time to the Mamas and Papas" "really?" "no actually it was more like an after school bell ringing"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"sorry, my atherosclerosis kicked in." "oh doctors must have iPhones too!"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"I can't believe your T9 knows Alzheimer's." "yeah and it knows atherosclerosis too!"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"Smell this vodka right now! It DOES smell like root beer! If you can smell it you have Alzheimer's"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"Oh, these are just the drinks that we get BEFORE we go out and get drinks!"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"he needs to wash his hands because my straw is salty!"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"he's cute!" "too bad he's a freak!" "well just when he drinks and mixes his pills..."

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"how do you spell cheeto?" "why, because now you're all vegan and can't spell cheeto?"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"no ashing on the dolce!" "don't put your dolce in my ash!"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"I'm gonna text (female name). She may even know his wife. Intimately." "not like you know some people's wives intimately, but yeah."

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"Oh you think you're shaking your head now...you better stretch!"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"'you're fishing for compliments and I'm not a trout.' this came out of my mouth last night."

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"oh you're a football player? That's nice, do you play any other sports like tennis or soccer?"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"We are not going in we are going to stand outside. And promote various liquors"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"we are not going in we are just going to stand outside and promote various liquors"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

" Only one bite my dress is skin tight!" "yeah that is funny! Except we had 3 bites but that's ok because it doesn't rhyme as well"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

"what qualifies lil' mama to judge a dance show? Her lip gloss must be poppin to an 8 count"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®